I can see my house from here!

Oh my goodness. I was at K-Mart today and saw a friend as I was entering the store. Peter, you brought back a memory!! During Vinnie's high school years he played baseball all four years. I can't remember exactly which year it was or the town. We were watching one of Vinnie's games and as often happened Sammy was MIA. Usually that meant he was walking toward a concession stand. After what seemed like a very long time someone happened to look up and there he was. He had climbed on the outside of the football stadium press box. Yes I said outside of it. There were no railing on the sides or back and only a maintance ladder going up the side. With my heart in my throat I watched Vince slowly and carefully get himself to the top so he could bring Sammy down. After Vince was able to get Sammy down and I gave him a big hug, it was so hard not to smile and even chuckle at how proud he was of himself. I can't tell you who won that day or even if Vinnie got a hit but I can tell you for sure that many parents can still tell you who climbed the ladder up to the top of the press box that day.

It doesn't get easier, you just get better at it. God is good.

My buddy Vinnie

This is not one memory but several warm fuzzy ones about an amazing older brother. All of Sammy's siblings had special relationships but today I am remembering the one between Vinnie and Sammy. Sammy adored Vinnie. Vinnie adored Sammy. Vinnie always took time to play, sing, watch tv or just hang with Sammy. One of the things Sammy loved to do with Vinnie was go bowling. I don't have any memories of the bowling because it was always a special time that was just for Vinnie and Sammy. I do however have memories of the excitement in the house when Vinnie would say, "Lets go bowling, Sammy!" Boy Sammy would light up and start singing. No song that any of you would know but it would always contain the word VINNIE. We would lovingly call them our Vinnie songs. Each one was different but the same. I remember taking Sammy to see Vinnie in Chicago and Vinnie taking Sammy's hand and going for walks along the lake or through the zoo or just down the street to the grocery store. Vinnie became an amazing brother the day Sammy was born and I am so proud of the big brother Vinnie continued to be for all of Sammy's time here on earth.

It doesn't get easier, we just get better at it. God is good.

Spa Phone

On one of our vacations all four of my children were with me at Clearwater Beach. We were enjoying the beach and pool and the weather was perfect. Vinnie and Donnie were Jr. High age and there were so many cute older girls there. The boys, although I am sure they would have preferred to be alone, included Sammy when they were hanging with the girls. One particular time the boys joined the girls in the hot tub. Sammy wasn't able to get in because of his heart but was hanging close to the edge. Rhiannon and I were in the hotel room a few feet away with a napping Marcus. There was a squeal, an "OH NO" ! Sammy must have felt left out. He reached over to one of the girls cell phones, tossed it in the hot tub, and smiled. Luckily Vinnie reacted with speed and precision, grabbed the phone, gave a shake, and wrapped it in a towel. The phone survived and Sammy gave "sorry" hugs all around!! All was forgiven!

One of my friends prompted this memory when her little one washed her phone in the toliet so her picture with Sammy gets the honor this time!

It doesn't get any easier, you just get better at it. God is good.

Be Right Back

Sammy, Rhiannon, Marcus, Maria, and myself were on one of our many trips to Disney World. Seeing Disney through Sammy's eyes-wow- what an experience. During this visit we were at EPCOT and went to our favorite restaurant in Morocco. We were all sitting enjoying the belly dancer with Sammy announced "Be Right Back". He got up from his seat at the table and walked down to the "stage" area. He bowed to the Belly Dancer and proceeded to start dancing with her. I can still chuckle thinking about it. I don't know what was more entertaining, Rhianon and my reaction or Sammy's sweet dance. At the end he took her hand and bowed to a round of applause!!

It doesn't get easier, we just get better at it. God is good.

Belly Laugh

Do you know the type of laugh that starts off as a hard belly laugh, gets airy in the middle and ends in a giggle? That's the laugh that Sammy would have when Vince played this "game" with him. They would play this game often and many places. We would be walking (most times Sammy would be in a wheel chair) and it could be around Chicago, or around the streets of Pontiac. It didn't make a difference. Vince would act like he didn't see a tree or a pole and run into it and the laugh would happen. As an adult, I really didn't think it was that funny but Sammy's laugh was so contagious! He would laugh like it was the first time it happened and he was surprised. And when he stopped laughing he would say......"Again Dad! Again!" Vince would continue to "run" into things and Sammy would laugh and laugh. It never got old for Sammy! I miss that laugh but am thankful that God has given me the memory of this laugh. I can close my eyes and listen and hear it. Sammy enjoyed life at every angle and every turn and every bump in the road! What a gift he had. I am so thankful he shared it with me.

It doesn't get any easier, we just get better at it. God is good.

Thanks Mia

A few days before Christmas last year I was wrapping presents. Sammy walked into my bedroom. (Don't ask me why my door was unlocked while I was wrapping Sammy's presents because I have no memory of that one!) A gift of Sleeping Beauty figures was on the bed waiting to be wrapped. Sammy grabbed it and said "Thank you mom!". I calmly told him that it wasn't for him but I was a gift for Maria. (Sammy's niece) After a few minutes Sammy went back to the kitchen, turned on the computer, dumped his markers, and watched a movie. On Christmas morning as Sammy opened the Sleeping Beauty figures he stopped and looked sad when he thought he opened one of Maria's gift, then when he realized it was truly for him he lifted the gift, said "Thank you Mia" and gave the box a kiss. I wish I could have savored each moment last Christmas, taken more pictures, hugged more, and kissed more. Sammy made each day more joyful, more blessed, more special.

It doesn't get easier, we just get better at it. God is good.

Madrigal memories

Vince and I went to see the Madrigals last night. Although the Madrigals were great, saddness surounded me through most of the night. This was the first time we had been to a Madrigal dinner without Sammy. Sammy loved to see his brother Donnie dressed up and singing at Madrigals. (I believe he was Donnie's number one fan, altough mom is a close second!)I remember how he would also love to see "Cheek"! He loved to say Mr. Cheek's name just because he COULD. One year the Madrigal singers made a "pack" to have Sammy answer one of the riddles. Sammy raised his hand and answered. Boy did he love the attention. All the girls came and gave him a kiss on the cheek and gave him a rose. His smile was priceless and he sat straighter in his chair the rest of the night. Last year even though Donnie was no longer in high school, cousin Taylor was there to take over. Sammy loved watching and listening to Taylor. He would have love the skit this year. Taylor was awesome! I can easily close my eyes and see Sammy hugging Donnie tight in the reception line and I can also see Taylor bending down to meet Sammy's "height" for a picture and hug.

It doesn't get easier. You just get better at it. God is good.