I wish.........

Today like everyday is a day of wishing.....I wish Sammy could walk the beaches with me and find shells.....I wish Sammy could feel the 80 degree sunny day with me! I wish I could feel Sammy’s hug of thanks for every little thing I did..................I wish I could see Sammy’s face light up when his dad walks through the door............I wish Sammy could sit and have lunch with me........I would gladly go through McDonald’s drive up for a happy meal!..............I wish I could here Sammy’s off key rendition of You are my Sunshine!............I wish I could sit and watch for the 3rd or 4th time today, Happy Gilmore or What about Bob?.......................I wish I could here Sammy say I love you mom.....I wish we could go golfing together and hear Sammy say Nice Shot!......I wish I could watch Sammy serve mass.........I wish I could dance with my Prince Lillip!...........I wish I could watch Sammy recreate Disney Studio’s “Beauty and the Beast” over and over again...............I wish I could smell and kiss Sammy’s belly.............I wish I could do Christmas shopping for Sammy...............I wish..................

I know Sammy’s happiness in heaven is a depth of happiness, we can not come close to feeling here on earth but I am so selfish.......I wish I could bring him back!!

It doesn't get any easier. You just get better at it. God is good.

Sam and Sherry

Lately I have had Sammy’s school days with Sherry on my mind. Even though Sammy loved school with Sherry he did not love getting up in the mornings! Most mornings I would be “nudging” Sammy awake as Sherry was coming through the garage to the kitchen door! A very sleepy Sammy would be trying to hide his head in the pillow. After a few more tickles and pokes he would slowly make his way to the bathroom, where he would start his morning routine. He would look at his “Start your day strip”, brush his teeth, move that picture to the done spot and continue.....Teeth, check....go to the bathroom, check.......wash my face and hands, check.........say my prayers, check.......Get dressed, check......Go to school!!! By the time he got to the go to school picture he was usually pretty much awake. He would see Sherry and a big smile would appear and I can hear him say slowly......SHERRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!! They always greeted each other with a morning hug. Sherry taught Sammy all through grade school and she had a smile on her face every single day! I would like to think Sammy put that smile on her face but I think she is just that kind of teacher! She thought outside of the box and came up with some amazing ways to keep Sammy focused especially toward the end of the school day when Sammy was tired. Sammy loved Sherry and Sherry loved Sammy. What better combination is there for teaching and learning?!?! Every holiday I get to bring out Sammy’s works of art (along with my other children’s) and even though I have tears in my eyes, I am so thankful for Sherry and all her patients and love for Sammy. Two of my favorite things they made together are.....a picture frame Sammy painted with a picture of Sherry and Sammy at the zoo in it and a bracelet Sammy made with hearts and x’s and o’s that I wear everyday. I am so grateful for the 15 years, 284 days, 8 hours we had our sweet Sammy, but I want more......It doesn't get any easier, we just get better at it.