Up, Up and Away

Today as I looked at pictures of a balloon ride on Facebook I remembered my balloon ride with Sammy. It was the first time our town had a balloon festival. One balloon was sponsored by Children's Hospital of Illinois and my good friend, Pam, made it possible for Sammy to get a free ride. The catch, his "afraid of heights" mom had to go with on the ride! Sammy was excited but afraid. He didn't want to get into the balloon because of the noise when the balloon was inflated with hot air. I knew if we got him into the balloon he would love it. Our balloon operator said a prayer and off we went. Once again I was right! It was amazing. The incredible views of the sky, the other balloons, the farm land and buildings. Sammy loved every minute we were in the air and he did his wonderful belly laugh when we landed. He tried very hard to join in on the tasks to get the balloon put back on the truck after our flight. Thanks Mr. L for reminding me of another special time with Sammy. It doesn't get any easier, you just get better at it. God is Good.

Finding Sammy!

During Sammy's life, "finding Sammy" got to be an art form! He would quietly plan his escape and sneak away. One of these times was when he was 9 years old. I was working at the downtown store and Sammy was with me that day, when someone came in and told me they had just seen Sammy at the stop light on Howard street getting ready to cross the street. Off I went, in a panic, to find Sammy. I ran the 3 blocks to Howard and Main and no Sammy. I yelled Sammy's name and silently prayed, "Please Lord let me find him safe!" With no Sammy in sight I took a chance and tried the Church doors. The Main street door was unlocked so I went inside and continued to yell Sammy's name. Nothing but darkness and the sound of my breathing. Trying to calm myself I yelled again. Then I heard him. "Yeah"....Sammy where are you....."Here". I followed his voice in the dark church and found Sammy in the front just off the altar standing among several altar server uniforms on the floor. He was smiling and trying to find one that would fit! "Me" he said and I knew he was telling me he wanted to serve mass just like his brothers! So after I told him he was to NEVER NEVER NEVER leave the store like that again, and how much he frightened his mom, I told him we would talk to Monsignor Mack and ask if he could serve with Vinnie and Donnie on Sundays. Monsignor said yes and a special order was made for a smaller size and Sammy soon joined his brothers on the altar! Sammy served mass for 4 years with his brothers, 1 year with Seth and 6 months with Mark, Mike and Paul. He was so happy whenever it was his turn. Each time I say the joyful mysteries of the rosary and come to the 5th mystery (The finding of Jesus in the Temple) I think of that day and smile.

It doesn't get any easier, you just get better at it. God is Good.

Happiness X a million!!

So many happy memories! Many of those are from our many trips to Disney. Sammy loved Disney and his best Disney friend was his nephew Marcus. Marcus and Sammy both loved each part of Disney. They loved to watch parades and shows, ride the many rides and of course meet the wonderful Disney Characters! I want to share with you one of the short rides Sammy and Marcus loved. Goofy's barnstormer! We all rode it several times and sometime 2 or more times in a row. (My filming skills leave a lot to be desired!!) The smile on Sammy's face is worth MILLIONS! I miss Sammy and that sweet smile so much every moment of every day. More Disney memories to follow!!

It doesn't get any easier. You just get better at it.

Proud Server!

This past Sunday during mass a sweet memory came to mind. Our new seminarian was walking up to Monsignor to hold the Holy Book for him to read from when the memory of Sammy's sweet determination to be just like everyone else came full force into my mind! As I am writing this I am smiling. Sammy wanted to hold the "Book" just like Vinnie, Donnie and Seth always did when they served. Of course those boys were all 5'11" TO 6'2" tall. Sammy.....not so much! SO when Sammy proudly carried the Book and stood on the lower step and held it up for Father Mike to read from there was a pause and Fr. Mike (who is not a tall person) adjusted his glasses, bent down and with a slight grin on his face proceeded to read aloud. I think most of us sitting in the front section of church that Sunday were very entertained and no one was more proud than Sammy himself!! I miss seeing Sammy on the altar serving. Many memories of those days to follow!!

It doesn't get easier, you just get better at it. God is good!

Happiness!

I am sitting here at 3:30 am and I am concentrating on remembering Sammy's sweet voice. I remember him swinging on his "new" play set in the back yard. I was filming him as he was perfecting his "pumping" skills and I asked him simply. "Are you happy Sam?" and he smiled his big smile and said "YES" and just kept on pumping and smiling! So simple yet such a wonderful memory. Sammy was most often found smiling and enjoying life. I pray my 3 older children will discover the same degree of happiness in their lives and embrace it!

It doesn't get easier you just get better at it. God is good!

When you lose a child you miss everything about your child, even the tedious things and the "unpleasant" things. What I thought at the times was unpleasant, now I would love to be doing. Sammy was in diapers all of his 15 years and I would love to be changing diapers right now. I remember after every change how I would kiss his belly and Sammy would always pat it and say "Paw Paw". This was to tell me his belly was just like his Grandpa Don's. Sammy also like to dump his toys and markers. Picking up toys and markers.............how wonderful that sounds! And to have a little foot in my face or arm slung over my neck while trying to sleep......priceless! So many things to miss.

It doesn't get any easier, you just get better at it. God is Good.

The Gangs all Here!

Most years our family traveled to Disney World. As Sammy got older some years we were blessed with two short trips there. Disney was always, without exception, wonderful to Sammy and all of us. Because of Sammy's hips he used a wheel chair to get around when we went there. Sammy loved the rides but he lived for the parades and the Characters there. One year we were there for Sammy's birthday and as many of you know Sammy got a button that announced his birthday celebration. Epcot was a favorite place to see the Characters because they were so easily accessible to everyone. As we got in line a staff member noticed Sammy and moved us to the front of the line. (Disney is very good about giving children with disabilities the "right away") Then all of a sudden Minnie came running over, then Donald then Pluto, Mickey, Chip and Dale and lastly Goofy came running over from where he was out in the hall. It was priceless. Sammy was so excited and hugging everyone. People were crying in line and grabbing their cameras and it was like the Hollywood paparazzi was there! Sammy was on cloud nine the rest of the day and a large poster hangs in Sammy's bedroom and at Sartoris Drug store to forever mark that day. Thank you to all the beautiful people at Disney World who treated Sammy like a VIP each time we were there and giving us magical memories!
It doesn't get any easier, you just get better at it. God is good!